KManX89
MemberMothra LarvaeJun-08-2014 8:19 AMHere's my rough draft/synopsis for the 2nd movie with a couple new characters and actors for those characters (I'll try and keep it as brief as possible):
A lot of the storyline is focused on a divided opinion among the humans and government on the heroism of Godzilla with a retired Lt., John Reaver (Mark Wahlberg), called back into action after Ford Brody is killed from a "hidden"* monster attack on board a ship at the beginning of the movie and the US Secretary of Defense, Chad Kristoferson (Lawrence Fishburne), as new characters, with both having an emotional attachment to Godzilla: the retired Lt. used to own a resort on a remote island (later revealed as Monster Island) along with his Dad where they used to watch Godzilla hibernate and swim off into the ocean together before the Japanese government tried to kill him via nuke. The USSOD and Dr. Serizawa vehemently argue at various meetings throughout the film, including a UN meeting that Godzilla is not a threat and must be protected at all costs, however, the UN and Japanese government want to "finish what they started" and so, against their wishes, they go forward on a plan to destroy Godzilla, during which time, Godzilla appears in Japan where a bunch of creatures initially misidentified as different, smaller Mutos* attack. Godzilla takes em all on and beats em with relative ease, then the military attacks Godzilla and he is then shown fighting the military for the first time ever in this series. Then from out of nowhere, DUN DUN DUN, King Ghidorah appears, being lured from the Japanese military as part of their plan, and attacks Godzilla. During an emotional, epic, FX laten battle, with King Ghidorah dominating the majority of the fight, right when Godzilla's tail lights up and he's about to blast Ghidorah with his atomic breath, the military somehow "paralyzes" Godzilla with some kind of super weapon, sending him into a deep sleep the Japanese government and UN both celebrate much to the dismay of Kristoferson and Serizawa.
Then King Ghidorah flies over to the US and starts causing untold amounts of destruction in Los Angeles, San Diego and San Fran. That's where the humans realize their mistake as KG proves to be more of a threat than Godzilla ever was and so the retired Lt., Dr. Serizawa (now wearing an eye patch after being attacked by Ghidorah), USSOD and Joe (who they find to be secretly alive) all embark over to Japan and somehow "free" Godzilla from his slumber where he's being held and imprisoned, leading to an emotional final battle in San Fran between the 2 Kings (settling the centuries long stalemate) with Mothra/Rodan thrown into the mix (much of his/her story and build would be unveiled earlier on in the film). Both take on KG simultaneously and emerge victorious, with Godzilla killing King Ghidorah with his hyper breath and then ripping off his middle head at the expense of Mothra/Rodan, who dies during said battle (used as a plot device for the 3rd movie). It ends with Godzilla throwing KG's battered corpse into the SF bay and a final Godzilla roar and the humans celebrate, having been saved from the unstoppable juggernaut that is King Ghidorah, as the King heads back into the ocean, finally settling the centuries long stalemate with his arch nemesis.
So basically, Godzilla goes from (anti)-hero, to villain, and back to being a hero again all in the same movie against his arch nemesis. Also, at one point in the movie, in an attempt con console Elle, after holding a funeral for Ford, John invites her to his old, now dilapidated home, and they watch some archive footage of Godzilla in the ocean and on the island together on his old projector, making for an emotional moment between the two, before he shows her his old fish tank with "Destroyah" written above it, much like Ford's old fish tank with "Mothra" written above, leaving for another emotional moment between them, which signifies that ***SPOILERS***
The "hidden" monster at the beginning of the movie is secretly Destroyah (with a different origin) and the "Mutos" Godzilla fights in Japan are actually Desu, or mini-Destroyah redesigned. This sets up a DAM-themed 3rd and final movie with a bunch of new monsters and Destroyah reimagined.
EDIT: my full story treatment is now online for anyone who wants it. It explains every last plot detail, including both monster's origins.
Mecha Rodan
MemberMothra LarvaeJun-09-2014 2:41 PMNice job the plot still needs working and also the way you made the script this could stand for a scaled down version of GMK. Oh and why does Godzilla attack the military? He didn't even notce us in the first ovie sothere sho be a reason, please clarrify. Also you might go back and make the weapon that paralyses Godzilla a giant electric amplifier machine. One last thing; where did KG come from and what do all the monsters lok like? Sorry for nit picking but really this is a good rough draft. Jus needs more plot, clarrification on what the monsters in the movie are dong, and where the heck Mothra and Rodan came from.
TW_G-Fan2014
MemberMothra LarvaeJun-12-2014 1:06 PMI'm going to be brutally honest with what I see in this idea of yours, so be ready for that. It will be harsh, it will sound mean spirited at times, but I'm only being honest because I myself am a serious writer and I take such works seriously. If you want realistic feedback from someone who's not afraid to sugar coat their feelings and opinions, then keep reading.
If all you want is for people to say you did an awesome job, then don't read this.
With that warning in place, I'll begin.
First of all, nobody in the military would have an emotional investment in Godzilla. His actions were noble in that he went after the MUTOs, but other than that Godzilla heroism in in question at the end of the movie. If you didn't notice, there is a question mark at the end of "Savior of our city?" in the end of the movie meaning they don't know whether to call him a hero or not. That part of your synopsis is based on false or projected fan attachment, not a realistic military mindset who all view Godzilla for what he is, a threat.
Godzilla's life was spent deep beneath the oceans, not on an island. So that part of your synopsis is also based on nothing more than false or projected fan attachment to previous Godzilla entries.
Ghidorah's lack of a backstory or proper introduction is also a complete waste of time. You don't establish him as a character before hand. He just shows up. It's impractical and outright poor thought on your part. Also, the military suddenly has a super weapon capable of paralyzing Godzilla when nukes didn't work? Also, why doens't Ghidorah just kill him once he's paralyzed? Do the humans control him and tell him to back off? Again this was poorly thought out on your part.
Joe Brody is alive eh? How? He was officially declared dead in the movie and put in a body bag to be disposed of. Who would hide that and why? Was he that important just because he understood the MUTOs use of emp when everyone else questioned it? If you ask me, the government would not intercede on his behalf just because he knew what the MUTOs were doing before they hatched and began wreaking havoc. He's a nice character, but he's as dead as a doornail and forcing his revival is very contrived.
Your just randomly throwing in Mothra and Rodan into the mix as well? Why? Are you just trying to recreate Ghidorah, the Three Headed Monster while adding the detail from Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah with G ripping his middle head off? Mothra and Rodan have no established place in this story that you're setting up. They're just another forced idea that lacks creativity or true depth and reason. Also, what is this "centuries long dispute" between Godzilla and Ghidroah? Where did that idea even come from? Where was Ghidorah in all this and why wasn't he coming after Godzilla in the first movie if he supposedly has this rivalry with him? One more thing is why is this going back to San Francisco again? Isn't there somewhere else that this could take place? Last I checked San Fran is only one city among thousands along the US west coast.
And now you're forcing Destoroah into the mix at the end. Why? How did Destoroyah come to be here? His origin of being born of the oxygen destroyer means that he doesn't exist in this franchise becase that fantasy based weapon was never used.
One last thing is that King Ghidorah is not Godzilla's arch nemesis. He's like the annoying uncle who shows up to parties uninvited. Despite all the movies he's been in, he's never once defeated Godzilla. Mecha King Ghidorah managed to move Godzilla from the city to the ocean, but Godzilla still destroyed Mecha KG's electronics and basically killed him when they fell into the water. Godzilla was alive and well, and the true winner of the fight. How can a monster who's never beaten Godzilla be his "arch nemesis?"
So in conclusion, I've been brutally honest with you and ripped each detail I could find that didn't make sense in relation to the Godzilla 2014 movie apart. I know it's a bit harsh and it sounds mean spirited, but this is the kind of criticism you'll face for providing such works to an audience. There will always be those who are worse than me when it comes to such criticism, so be ready for it if you ever decide to put it anywhere other than this site.
Everyone here is a Godzilla fan right down to the site creator, but ultimately if they're telling you that you did a good job and not giving you any constructive criticism or questioning your decisions, they're not helping you. My hope is that by thinking about the things I've mentioned, you'll gain a better understanding of what it takes to truly create something that works. Right now, as it is, your rough draft does not work. In terms of remaining true to the 2014 movie, it fails miserably. Forcing monsters into the mix without giving them a proper reason for existing and using forced details like Monster Island and an emotionally attached military (which were never part of the first movie to begin with) are signs of weak writing and show a lack of true creativity.
So my advice is to do some more research and perhaps watch the 2014 movie again to get a better understanding of the way they've set their universe up. Right now your rough draft does not line up with it at all, and falls far short of being even close to a viable or believable story in its own right. You've got some work to do, but if you stick to it you'll get there.
TW_G-Fan2014
MemberMothra LarvaeJun-12-2014 1:08 PM* Should have said "whose not afraid of being honest and who does NOT sugar coating their feelings or opinions
KManX89
MemberMothra LarvaeJun-15-2014 9:00 PMMy full story treatment is now online for anyone who wants to read it. It explains all the major plot details, monster origins, character story arcs, it explains everything in full for your (hopeful) viewing pleasure.
This was just a rough sketch summarizing the main plot points without going into full detail, I do apologize for that, but now you've got the whole thing. It sets the stage for the 3rd and final movie as you'll see from reading it, hope you all enjoy!
